My lips are dry with mourning Lord, and I know not what to say. It wasn’t my plan to sit here trying to set my words to ink today. Yet here I am since dawn has broken, attempting to give my broken thoughts to Thee. I find I am so self-focused Lord-I tend to grumble and complain. I am an Israelite wandering, thinking on myself, and ungrateful for many things. You say You are the One I can come to daily, even when my thoughts don’t make sense to me. You tell me that although they come out jumbled, You hear them as complete. So, I believe Lord. I do. I just pray, help my unbelief. And as I pour out my heart’s whispers, I pray my pleas be not irreverent, but rather bold, because of the price Thy Son paid for me.
First, I want to thank Thee for placing survivors of abuse along our path to help us learn and grow. I love them, Lord. They are beautiful. I pray they are doing ok. Sustain them by thy all-sufficient grace to take it day by day. And when that is too much for them to bear, give them grace for but the moment where they can confess -not only is God in the past and future, but He is good here in this second too.
I admit Lord, there was a time I didn’t understand the dynamics of abuse. Although I continue to learn from the cries of the oppressed, I confess there are times when I have got it wrong, and that there is always more to learn. I'm sorry for when I failed to realize that not only does an abusive spouse use his words to confuse and kill, but that there is also nothing a wife can do to change his abusive will. I’m sorry for the times we as churches have placed marriages or forgiveness above individual souls. I'm sorry when it has brought neglect to the children because we haven't dealt with the abuse properly. I'm sorry if they saw our dealings as hypocrisy. I’m sorry for not being more proactive in educating on all forms of abuse. We have been naive in our thinking. We have misjudged those who sat in our pews, forgetting that wolves dwell among the sheep. We have failed to see and help those effected by domestic and sexual violence. We have dealt with cases wrongly and at times turned a blind eye. I’m sorry Lord for all the damage. For the times I thought recklessly. For the times I’ve cared more about solutions than listening to a story well. I’m sorry for when I have judged rashly or spoken words too soon. I’m sorry for the times I’ve minimized the damage, and simply added to the abuse. Most of all, I am sorry for the times Your hurting children had a false picture of Christ’s love because of our failure to show His hands and feet well.
There are no excuses, Lord. We become what we tolerate. So, help us to do what is good and true. May we not be surprised by evil in our midst, because after all, the Pharisees were part of the visible church too. Help us to care for the oppressed and to call sin for what it is. May we refuse quick apologies and stop burdening victims to forgive. If it please Thee, bring oppressors to repentance, with confessions that hold no excuse. Be with the families of victims and of the abusers too. Give them clarity and healing for they are dealing with trauma of their own. Help us to listen, Lord. To bend down meek and low. May we stop our mouths from giving quick answers. May we leave space for weeping, remembering that although time does bring healing, scars always remain. And sometimes, when least expected, scars slice open too. Be with those still suffering in the deafening silence of abuse. Gather them to find a place of refuge where they are believed, held, and seen. Be with those who advocate for victims Lord-for their job isn’t easy. May we use them as Phebe’s of the day, viewing them as a blessing to the weak. Help us to do better Lord. For the protection of the gospel and the glory of Thy name is at stake.
Thy name is Ebenezer. So may we use this opportunity of sin in our churches to call upon Thy name. Help, Lord. Help us to stop the pride. Help us to admit where we have gone wrong. Help us to believe. Help us to walk near the hurting as they discover all they have been through. Help us to admit all this suffering is no little thing. There is a time for weeping...and we ought to tune our hearts to mourn. Help the leaders to use their station as one that is Christlike...always ready to listen, insisting on holy living, and leading simply to serve others in service of Thee. Help us Lord to examine our own hearts and to get rid of our own sins. Where are our sins Lord? Expose us! Rid us of the filth today. Is it the use of porn we continue to hide? Or is it our stinking pride? Are we viewing women properly?...Seeing and using their differences as unique, and precious in Thy sight? Do we esteem others better than ourselves, or do we think we are doing fine? Is it gossip and slander? Or is it anger that we are prone to? Do we neglect our children so we can do our own thing? Are we discontent with Thy holy will? Do we misuse authority? Or on the other side of the spectrum, not have a proper view of the authority that You give? Help us Lord to humble. Help us...I know not what else to pray.
We lay our burdens at your feet and raise our voices loud. Gird us up to protect the vulnerable and to do battle against sin. Help us, Ebenezer, as more brushstrokes of sorrow come to light, to learn more of Thee, and do what is right. Among the many shades of sorrow, the sorrowing have a Savior. I know this to be true. So I give this prayer to Thee in His name... Amen.
Beautiful prayer ~ prayed from many lips.